First Time Obedience Summer

When the kids were about 8,7 and 4, I noticed that I was repeating myself over and over to get the kids to do what I wanted.  This is not very "teachery" of me...as a classroom teacher, I expected first time obedience from my classroom students.  Here I am with my own daily "students" allowing them to not obey me the first time!!  I should be ashamed.  So...I declared that particular summer First-Time-Obedience Summer!!

Before school let out for the summer that year, I gathered the kids together and, first of all, apologized for not being the parent that I should.  Secondly, I told them that I was sorry that I had not insisted that they obey me the first time that I asked. And, thirdly, that when school let out, they were going to have to learn how to obey me the first time I asked.  It is going to be First-Time-Obedience Summer!  Yippee!

So...how did we go about this.  Together we thought up some consequences that could happen if they didn't obey me the first time and put them on a list on the fridge.  We talked about them.  I think I even asked them which consequence they thought they should receive if they didn't obey me the first time.  Then we even practiced how to obey the first time...that might mean
1) How to respond (Yes, mom).
2) Role play giving a child an "order" and he/she following through.
3) We even talked about, "What if I'm in the middle of something, Mom?"  What to say to Mom if they need a few minutes to obey (may I finish this first?)

How did it go?  Well...for the first weeks of summer, before I asked the kids to do anything, I would say something like, "Remember, this is first time obedience summer...I'm getting ready to ask you to do something....I need you to obey me the first time..."  I really wanted them to succeed, to obey me the first time, to remember to obey me.  It went great!  They picked up on the obeying the first time right away.  Not too many consequences had to be doled out.

Now that they're older, we might have to have a refresher course.  Sometimes all I need to say is, "Do I have to ask you a second time?" which is technically asking a second time!  Hmmm, this might be another First-Time-Obedience Summer.